The Book of Uno

Translated from the original LPC by Allaryin of Morike, and commented by the same.

And it came to pass, that in the last half of the third month of the Year of The Great Downgrades, a new decree and a piece of code was brought forth from out of the mouth of Tensor.

I, a repentant priest, having seen the error of my ways and having returned myself from the sin and iniquity that was a guild hop back unto the feet of Morike, did hear the noise and I did listen.

Trembling with joy, I read the words that were written.

Uno had come.

Yea, the One Game had come to bless all who would hear its voice. The witches in their covens with their cauldrens could brew their juices and putter and blaw from their orifices without boredom.

Juggernauts began to remain conscious in their mechanized robotic combats. Yea, the word was spread throughout the Kingdoms and the Mud became a happier place.

Our own brothers and sisters began to be caught up in the true way, which was Uno alongside Nocturnis and Maz and Selene and Ziose. The Game accompanied us through Torickii's battles and Jodan's meditations.

But the beginning of this new era, that of Uno, was not as it has come to be. In the beginning, the holy Decks were secreted away in the workshops of dukes and counts and Vraals and admins.

Many features of The Game, known to mortals as bugs, were found to exist, and few held their treasured Decks in hand for more than a short time, knowing that they would be taken up again as an old feature was discovered and replaced by a better and new one.

Most memorable was the time when a shout rose up from Tensor, calling all men, women, and changelings to udestroy their tainted decks. The people of Pinnacle were wrought with anguish and were rendered bored yet again. Many considered typing aloud the dread phrase 'wipeme <password>,' for their inspiration and soul, yea their very reason for mudding had vanished. Just as the hour grew nigh that so many would have torn out their souls, did Tensor shout again, saying that an Altar of Uno had been erected in the humble drinking establishment owned by Hey You.

All mankind could now seek out this altar and pray for a holy Deck. In fact, many have chosen to utter the mystical words 'alias .login e/s/s/praise Uno/...' and their sister phrase 'alias .login home/pub/praise Uno/...' so that they might never be separated again from their cards and that they might always carry their Deck with them, and never forget it.

My experiences with Uno have been from the very beginning. I didn't have the first deck, but I spoke with wizards and players alike, about the game until the evening when Tensor placed the altar in the Pub.

Shortly later, I was able to log in from a friend's computer. I had been watching/stealing Timster the witch's connection for a while because I couldn't use my own machine due to the fact that my roommate is a stupid head. Anyways. As I logged in and was watching my .login execute, I was handed a deck of cards, I think by Tim.

I was kind of overwhelmed by the interface. I mean, I typed 'look at Uno' and got a page full of high magenta (aka pink) command list. Pages of pink commands tend to frighten me. Somebody (who I forget) told me to type 'ujoin fiend,' I did and the next thing I knew, I was dealt cards by Screech and was being prodded to take my turn by Zaffy. I proceeded to lose several games that night, playing until the wee hours when the clock read 2:30, Tim had logged out, and Zaffy was cheating or something because he had a 300 point lead. Zafirex and I then each exchanged luck and I began a winning streak. By the time we all gave up the game and uquit, I had cut his lead down to under 50 points.

Towards the end of that game, we all congregated in the guild hall, reading notes and listening to Screech ask for Uno related guild stuff ideas. It was cool. So cool, in fact, that I missed my Calculus teacher do a song and dance routine the following day, which Oubliette was certain to tell me about (i.e., i slept through my 10:00 class).

I logged in again the next evening and played Raven in a little one on one Uno :). The first hand lasted for almost an hour. We went through the entire deck and then some, before I finally won.(For those who have never experienced this, there is a cool little one line emote saying that the cards are being shuffled.)

More games followed, including one between myself and a bunch of the guys I live with, needless to say, the poor computer lab we crashed became a rather noisy place.

I have since changed my pretitle to 'Uno y solo,' my words of wisdom read 'Ping for an Uno deck,' and my ack alias is set to ugive $1. I grab a deck in my .login and hope to see many other such games develop within the mud.

My goal, stated before all who read this piece of words, is to make 3k innundated in games, including poker (with actual gold transferred between players' bank accounts), checkers, twister (how I don't know but it HAS to happen), Scrabble, and a couple of others. How? I hope to be able to type 'wizmenow' some time late this summer and become the patron god of games :)

--Al, who plays way too much Uno, and doesn't spend NEARLY enough time seriously questing.

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Inscribed by: Allaryin -- March 27, 1997